The thought occurred to me last night. It was after a conversation with my ex about the Christmas incident. I was looking for closure and explanation. I was looking for an apology and epiphany. He said “ohh jeez fuck off, MOVE on”. He said this sitting across the kitchen table from me after I had cooked him dinner. I just stared at him. He was like a tornado. This dark destructive path with no more concern for me and my well being than he was about the people across the street. He could be as hateful and mean as he wanted, shredding my feelings, ripping into me, letting my tears fall where ever they may. And then he would be gone. Just like that. Poof. Over it. Moving on. There would be a path of anger, broken promises, lies, and hurt for me to pick up sure…but he was done. It’s just like that. A destructive force that comes along, really mind fucks you and then disappears from your life for good, leaving you and your neighbors (friends/family) to pick up the debris. It’s easy to move on when you are that force. It’s much harder when you are the one left with emotional healing to do. My outside is just fine, like a house that has been rebuilt bigger, better, stronger but it’s on the same foundation. Only those closest to you ever realize what’s missing.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"