The thought occurred to me last night. It was after a conversation with my ex about the Christmas incident. I was looking for closure and explanation. I was looking for an apology and epiphany. He said “ohh jeez fuck off, MOVE on”. He said this sitting across the kitchen table from me after I had cooked him dinner. I just stared at him. He was like a tornado. This dark destructive path with no more concern for me and my well being than he was about the people across the street. He could be as hateful and mean as he wanted, shredding my feelings, ripping into me, letting my tears fall where ever they may. And then he would be gone. Just like that. Poof. Over it. Moving on. There would be a path of anger, broken promises, lies, and hurt for me to pick up sure…but he was done. It’s just like that. A destructive force that comes along, really mind fucks you and then disappears from your life for good, leaving you and your neighbors (friends/family) to pick up the debris. It’s easy to move on when you are that force. It’s much harder when you are the one left with emotional healing to do. My outside is just fine, like a house that has been rebuilt bigger, better, stronger but it’s on the same foundation. Only those closest to you ever realize what’s missing.