Mirror mirror…..

I have now started dedicating Saturday mornings to reflecting on my life and the lessons I have learned. I decided to face myself in the mirror today. Really face myself. For women, most time spent in front of the mirror is for getting ready, checking our makeup, inspecting our faces for the next small line that creeps up around our eyes from too much laughing, smiling, or crying. For me, standing in front of a mirror has never been a pleasant place to be. For as long as I can remember, the mirror has been a place to criticize and scrutinize. I have torn myself apart, piece by piece, hating every perceived flaw. Today I stood in front of the mirror and first looked at all my scars and how they create a map on the outside of my body for what has happened on the inside. Head to toe scars from one mishap or another, one disease or another. I used to be painfully thin. I no longer worry about that. Those demons have been replaced.  I look at my face and remember in my 20’s I looked great when I first woke up, these days at 38 it takes a while in the morning for my face to find me again. And finally I settle on my eyes, they get the greatest amount of compliments. I stare at my own eyes and try to see past them, I am facing a new demon. I can look at myself because I have done the very best that I could with the life I have been given so far. I have made mistakes but I can face them. All of them. I look back at my body this morning and decide I should stop being so critical. it has served me well, it has taken alot of pain, but it has also allowed me love. And despite all the things I have been through in my short 38 years on this earth. I still believe in love. 

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