I have now started dedicating Saturday mornings to reflecting on my life and the lessons I have learned. I decided to face myself in the mirror today. Really face myself. For women, most time spent in front of the mirror is for getting ready, checking our makeup, inspecting our faces for the next small line that creeps up around our eyes from too much laughing, smiling, or crying. For me, standing in front of a mirror has never been a pleasant place to be. For as long as I can remember, the mirror has been a place to criticize and scrutinize. I have torn myself apart, piece by piece, hating every perceived flaw. Today I stood in front of the mirror and first looked at all my scars and how they create a map on the outside of my body for what has happened on the inside. Head to toe scars from one mishap or another, one disease or another. I used to be painfully thin. I no longer worry about that. Those demons have been replaced. I look at my face and remember in my 20’s I looked great when I first woke up, these days at 38 it takes a while in the morning for my face to find me again. And finally I settle on my eyes, they get the greatest amount of compliments. I stare at my own eyes and try to see past them, I am facing a new demon. I can look at myself because I have done the very best that I could with the life I have been given so far. I have made mistakes but I can face them. All of them. I look back at my body this morning and decide I should stop being so critical. it has served me well, it has taken alot of pain, but it has also allowed me love. And despite all the things I have been through in my short 38 years on this earth. I still believe in love.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"