6 long years………

I spent 6 years with Bruce. Off and on, off and on. I was homeless on 3 separate occasions with him and our children. Once with him in the homeless shelter, once when he up and left me in Wellington and one other time with him sleeping in our car and at a hotel in Royal Palm Beach, The Royal Dragon. I worked, I went to school full time, I was raising two children at the time. Then one day he just disappeared again. This time for good. He left no forwarding address, no paper trail, nothing. I had to file divorce through default. I had to place diligent search ads in every paper in the United States announcing my intention. His last known address was the local jail on Gun Club Rd in West Palm Beach. For the longest time I told my children that daddy went back to Virginia to help his family for a a little while. Then I finally stopped lying to them and told them I didn’t know where he was or if he was ever going to see them again. My divorce took forever, because he was nowhere to be found and could not contest it. I had to agree to incur all the martial debt in order to be granted freedom from the bad choices of my past. I took responsibility for everything. It wasn’t because I wanted to, but I wanted to be free. It was only recently when doing a google search that his name actually popped up. I had searched before, periodically and never came up with anything. But on this particular day  his name came up, he has a twitter account, he is an author who lives with his new wife and grandchild. Reading his twitter page was like reading a poor fiction novel. All bible verses and blessings to his followers. I almost gagged. He’s up to the same old tricks. I couldn’t help myself, the last tweet on his page read “the bible, still the best book ever written”…I sent a tweet asking if the bible said anything about child support or taking responsibility for your children. he quickly blocked me. I struggled with telling my children that I had found him. They are 19 and 21 now. Did it really matter? It might to them. They are old enough and strong enough to handle how they use the information. I told them and they just shook their heads and said that’s nice. Isn’t it though?  As difficult as my life has been and as much disappointment as I have had the two things I have never regretted are my children and the decision to keep them, raise them and love them. And as my relationship with them changes the older they get, I love and appreciate them more each day because they saved me. They kept me pushing through when I wanted to give up.

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