Single again….what ya know?!

I was single again. School was winding down, kids were in a routine and I was restless. I began working out like a madman, I dove into food restrictions and ridiculous expectations of my body. I had to control something. I was going out Friday nights, Saturday nights and sometimes Sunday’s. I was balancing being a single mother, working full time, school full time, studying and my own personal life. M and I had it down to a science. She had gone through a divorce too and we both had kids roughly the same age. We would do our traditional Chuck E Cheese Friday nights with the kids, then put them to bed, call the sitter over and head out for the night. We would wake up Saturday mornings, go to Publix, pick up subs and head to the beach with the children. They would wear themselves out all day playing, allowing us to tan and recover from the night before. Then we would take them home, clean everyone up, settle them down for movies and start all over. Sunday’s were the same, either the beach or a park. I had no guilt having a night life of my own, we had family time all day long and mommy time at night when they were asleep. I would say we did this about a year and had the best time. I have some of the funniest amazing stories from those nights which I cherish to this day. M and I have known each other 17 years now. We saw each other through divorce, marriage, children’s milestones and went to school together, even worked together. We know the very best in each other and the very worst. I love her very much, but we are no longer friends. Some people you have to cut loose from your life after a while and it’s a shame. My heart longs for those carefree days before more serious problems took hold. I wish our problems were as simple as finding the right outfit for Friday night or being attracted to the same guy and calling “dibs” from across a crowded bar. Unfortunately things got bigger than I could handle and negativity took over. I wish I could put our issues behind us. I have forgiven her, but I can not forget. She was a great chapter in my life and I wish her well. The best years of my life are directly ahead and the best stories of my life are soon to follow….

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