Neglectful…..yes I have been.

I apologize. I have been very neglectful, I have had ALOT going on. I had to move rather suddenly. I knew the possibility of starting over yet again was there, just didn’t know it was going to come so soon. It turns out that my landlord decided to stop paying the mortgage on my property long ago and let the house go into foreclosure. I came home to find a 3 day notice to vacate on my front door. So needless to say, I have been busy. This time was slightly more bearable as I did have a place to go and both children are already gone. What was disconcerting however was having to give up all of my things yet again. I spent 38 years accumulating and letting go of things I have loved. I had a mini-meltdown and basically threw most everything I owned away. The thought of strangers picking through my cherished things and haggling me over a dollar seemed like penance. I feel I have paid all the dues I owed by now. So I had a mini melt down, threw almost everything away and decided to try to sell of the larger pieces of furniture. It was pretty unsuccessful mostly because of my lack of enthusiasm and attitude that I just wanted to get it over with. I didn’t have my major meltdown til I packed up the last of the food to take to my mother’s house. Then I cried and cried. I’m 38, starting over yet again and tired. I am so god damn tired. I’m tired of uprooting my life, putting on my happy face and starting again. I’m just tired. I am settled in now so I promise to continue my journey and thank you for your patience as I pick myself up, dust myself off and carry on.

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