part deux

So after deciding that I didn’t need a second chance and that his in-actions have lead to the downfall of this breakdown with his family I tell him he needs to go…to leave, to not be in my presence for a while. I am disgusted. I am flabbergasted. I can’t even fathom that he just said that. I tell E that all I want from him from this point forward is my medical bills and surgery taken care of. If you don’t remember, it’s from the accident in August of last year, when he hit me with his truck, drug me approximately 10 feet. I fractured my skull, ruptured my left implant, had multiple abrasions and lacerations to the entire left side of my body. He still hadn’t paid a dime or even made arrangements to pay. I say I am done. 100%. I am even willing to never see the dog I love sooo much again if it means getting him out of my life. I had given him a quote to fix the implant. I say this is the most pressing matter, I want this fixed. I want to feel human again, it’s forming a capsule, it’s painful, just give me the money to fix this and I am out of your life. He stalls, he asks me “is that what you want, for me to cut you a check and then we are done?” Β I ask if it’s an ultimatum and if it is I’ll take the check. My health is NON-negotiable. And that’s when I WOKE THE FUCK UP. All the denial, all the excuses, all the stalling, all the understanding…..went right out the window. He was holding my health hostage. To say I flipped out would be an under statement. I found my voice. I found my anger, my sense of self preservation. I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of him and his family. I called him every name in the book and then some. I made up words. I freaked the fuck out. I could not believe after all I had been through, after all I had sacrificed and put up with, after almost dying, after suffering long term effects from the accident like dizzy spells, headaches, shoulder pain, back pain, not to mention the physical scars…after ALL that..he was attempting to use my hope to return to normal against me. I woke up. He told me he would get my check, told me he would deliver it this past Tuesday and never did. Then he told me to come pick it up after work, to come to his bar to get it, and when I got there, after going inside and letting him know I was out front waiting, he snuck out the back door got in his truck and ran away. The definition of pathetic. I literally had no choice but to laugh about that. I’ve never seen a bigger coward. But it’s ok. I woke up. I’ll have my day in court where this incident should have been from the beginning. Β I’m alive. In every sense of the word and I am back.Image

11 thoughts on “part deux

      1. I read your blog with much interest. I am kind of inspired that as children of abuse we are not alone in our feelings and thoughts although back then I was sure I was the only one going through stuff like that. I had no frame of reference, so it’s comforting, in a very sad way. Keep on keeping on!

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