Happy Anniversary…to me, despite it all.

I received a notification yesterday from word press stating simply…”Happy Anniversary”.  It has been one year since I started writing my story. One year compiling 39 years into roughly 74 pages. I went back and re-read from the beginning. I laughed, I cried, I gasped, I reflected and then I smiled. I have trans versed this path of mine with no regrets. I am happy. Still. Despite this life. Of the things I want to be very clear, I blame NO ONE but myself for the choices and paths I have taken as an ADULT. I hold NO ONE but myself accountable for my emotions, my reactions, my actions. I am me. I am human. I am entitled to feel and think and say anything I want in regards to my own life experiences. I have retained the friends and family that matter to me and that I matter to. For some, my shelf life is still good. For others, it was simply time to move on. My purpose in their lives is over and their purpose in mine I take lessons from. I no longer feel the need to explain myself, to anyone. I have made a CHOICE to forgive those people that have wronged me and hurt me the most. It doesn’t make their offenses any less severe or damaging or wrong, it simply means that I have replaced those negative things with love. The love of life. I love my life. Despite this life. I have never lost the youthful optimism that in theory, should have been stripped from me long ago. In the face of all things beyond my control as a child and all things that the damage bled into as an adult, I still believe in anything and everything and at times nothing. I told a wonderful person I met recently that if he wanted to know anything about me, he could read my story. He read the first page and said to me  “That story was just the prequel”. …and he is right. So Happy Anniversary to me. Image

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