I’m finally letting go. In the purest sense of those words. Those who used to occupy my thoughts no longer have free reign in my mind. Some days, I would be consumed with the need to understand WHY or HOW certain people could be the way they are. WHY would someone lie about something so inconsequential or HOW could someone who claimed to have love in their heart be so filled with rot and waste? Now I just ACCEPT that that is WHO they are. Their parts aren’t spliced together the way mine are. I have started to feel pity. I came from a most fucked up childhood. I suffered abuse and witnessed abuse. I ran away. I was assaulted. I was homeless, married too young, a teenage mother, a high school drop out, an anorexic/bulimic. I have had cancer, I have cheated death, I lost friends and family to death both natural and self inflicted, I was a product of divorce, twice. I was made fun of, picked on for being “poor”, I was a fighter, I was cast aside, forgotten. I was all of those things and yet I still treat people better than someone who grew up with both parents, who had the world handed to him, who never worked for anything, who never had loss, or felt grief, who was healthy, never faced death head on. I am still open to love and hope. I still dream. I am so confident in my own ability to carry on and be better than ever, that I have pity. My life is my own. His belongs to hate and greed and selfishness. I pity him because I have let go and he is the same. In this life, if you don’t grow and evolve, you die. I pity the weak. I pity him.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"