like finding a penny on tails….

Whenever I find a penny on tails, I pick it up, flip it over and replace it in hopes that I can leave positive energy for the next person who finds it. I have been doing this for as long as I can remember and I have no idea how or why it started. I feel like a penny on heads these days. All positive, wanting to spread my good energy to everyone around me. I feel like I was finally flipped over and sent in the right direction, but it in no way means I am not human and that I don’t have moments of negativity. I got a little shock yesterday, or maybe the day before. I got a little mad even…ok a lot mad even. I felt the twinge of a betrayal, got a glimpse at someone’s loyalty, or lack thereof. For a split second, I was disappointed, hurt even, but then it hit me. It is not my loss. The days of fighting for people to remain in my life are long over. I know my worth and value as a friend, as a mother, as a daughter, a sister, an employee, a lover. I no longer feel compelled to plead my case. I have no case. I know my value, if others do not, it is no longer my problem… or my loss. My self esteem is not caught up in the opinion of those who would break faith with me. My rewards for loyalty are present in every day life. There is no room on both sides of the fence. That is what separates me and makes me unique. I am grateful for everything, including the pain and disappointment. I have already won. I call heads.

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