Whenever I find a penny on tails, I pick it up, flip it over and replace it in hopes that I can leave positive energy for the next person who finds it. I have been doing this for as long as I can remember and I have no idea how or why it started. I feel like a penny on heads these days. All positive, wanting to spread my good energy to everyone around me. I feel like I was finally flipped over and sent in the right direction, but it in no way means I am not human and that I don’t have moments of negativity. I got a little shock yesterday, or maybe the day before. I got a little mad even…ok a lot mad even. I felt the twinge of a betrayal, got a glimpse at someone’s loyalty, or lack thereof. For a split second, I was disappointed, hurt even, but then it hit me. It is not my loss. The days of fighting for people to remain in my life are long over. I know my worth and value as a friend, as a mother, as a daughter, a sister, an employee, a lover. I no longer feel compelled to plead my case. I have no case. I know my value, if others do not, it is no longer my problem… or my loss. My self esteem is not caught up in the opinion of those who would break faith with me. My rewards for loyalty are present in every day life. There is no room on both sides of the fence. That is what separates me and makes me unique. I am grateful for everything, including the pain and disappointment. I have already won. I call heads.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor, Oh Go Fix Yourself and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"