Writing from a place of pain seems easier, seems more poetic, seems universal. We all understand pain, the pain of loss, the pain of disappointment, of broken promises, missed connections, squandered dreams. It connects us. Solidifies the truth that we are all the same despite our origins. Pain unites us in understanding. For those of us with conscience, it unites us in empathy. On the days when I was in the most emotional pain, I found it easier to write and share and let everyone in, perhaps my need to be understood sharpened my ability to communicate in some way. Despite all of my “blessings” these days and despite how wonderful things are going, I still grieve for me. I have grief for the little girl with all the issues that sometimes rears her tormented head. I grieve the 2 1/2 years I wasted loving a man who never loved me. I miss my dog. My thoughts and feelings are as random as that…bouncing from one memory to the next, bringing with it waves of emotion that ebb and flow like the tides in the ocean. I grieve for friends I’ve lost through this process, for friends who disappointed me, who let me down. I get angry when I think of E doing anything at all in the name of cancer fundraising after the deplorable way he and his family treated me. Only now I am not writing from a place of pain. I am simply writing to clear space in my mind for new more pleasant memories. And I am still just writing for me.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"