Butterflies & Sunflowers

I’m not saying I want a night in shining armor, although I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I just want the chemistry, the fireworks, the butterflies. I want to long to get home. I want to fight about socks left on the floor. I want to curl up on cool days and watch movies and drink coffee and not speak. I want to go out and be loud and silly and challenging. I want the anticipation. I want the gaze held a moment too long. I want that he finds my harry potter scar on my forehead charming. I want him to know that I don’t like weird cheese, or midgets, or romance novels, that I want to be lead into a room with a hand on the small of my back and the door held open with the other. I want him to know that I say I don’t like flowers delivered to my work, but the truth is, I do, sunflowers or tulips. I want him to know that I can be fiercely loyal and that I often spread myself too thin and I agree to do many, many things I don’t really want to do, just so I can show my support to my family and friends and it is rarely returned. I want him to know that I feel things deeply and I get hurt often, but it never stops me from opening my heart. I want him to know that I don’t like to argue, but rather communicate differences and give validity to a situation, regardless if I agree. I want him to know that I still dance, like nobody is watching, WHEN nobody is watching and it is when I feel the most free. I want him to know that my soul feels old and I often will myself to try any and everything that appeals to me. I want him to know that I like lady bugs and that I am convinced that dragon flies are little angels or fairies or something magical. I want him to appreciate the complex creature that I am, that I may come with some damage but I am not broken. I want him to lock his pinky finger in mine when walking through a crowd so that I feel safe. I want him to know that my love for family and friends is limitless and I would give everything I have ever had to see each one of them safe and happy. I want him to know that I appreciate every experience no matter how painful or sad because I find such sweetness in the times when things are good and calm. I want him to know that I love watching leaves fall from the trees and the sound of rain and the smell of a campfire. I want the kiss in the rain. I want the chemistry. I want the butterflies.

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