It was the moment I felt the true VALUE of my life and the people in it that I began to fight for it. Before that moment I simply existed. I took whatever life threw at me and kept plugging along trying to make the best out of any given situation. But the moment I felt the VALUE that I had, I came up swinging (figuratively) and I will NOT stop. I will not stop fighting for my value. This blog, this has been a place to vent, to express both my frustrations and pain and my gratitude and joy. I don’t apologize for any of it. It is me. It is who I am and what I have been through. I will not apologize that other people of their own FREE WILL have chosen to support this blog and me. I will not apologize for the opinions that anyone who reads this forms. I do not control anyone but myself. I put my truths out there as a form of therapy, as a way to clear space in this overloaded mind and to gather strength from people with similar experiences and feelings, it helps me to know I am not alone. And that scares you. You are scared because the truths are coming out one little fracture in your manipulating exterior at a time, with every random drunk text message threat at a time to a friend. Your lies are finally coming to the surface and you are scared. The sad sad reality is that I did love you. I did protect you, I wanted you to get help, in the process helping me understand how you could do that to someone you claimed to love. I would have gone to the ends of the earth with you….until I woke up. The day you held my need to be back to normal after the accident over me as an ultimatum I woke up. And my life suddenly had a value that I had never felt before. I have no fear because I haven’t done anything wrong. I opened my heart, my family and my life up to you only to have you attempt to destroy everything good about me. I am stronger. I have no MALICE in my heart. I am not operating from a place of evil or anger. I am simply waiting for justice to be done. LEGALLY, as I have emphasized in every single one of these posts….because I do not wish you harm, I have forgiven you, but I will see to it that justice is served, because that is the moral, ethical thing to do, because my life…has VALUE. And I VALUE my life.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor, Oh Go Fix Yourself and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"