The reality and my universe…

I fooled myself into thinking that the universe had finally delivered a little bit of itself to me. So of course, it came at a time when my guard was down and I had accepted my place among the stars. I had come to a place that I thought was an acceptance that I was by some grand design, a vessel to simply give to others whatever was required of me. I thought for a moment that that sacrifice, that acceptance had earned me some karmic goodness, delivered to me in the form of an age appropriate, professional soldier (a career that I admire more than any other), funny, charming, witty and beautiful man that i could fall madly, passionately in love with and that would love me to the ends of the earth and even understand my place among the stars. I am by grand design, a hopeless romantic. Albeit a very guarded one. Never the less, I am. Hopeless. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was again a stepping stone, providing a temporary place of security where demons could be exercised, hopes and dreams, fails and disappointments revealed. I did what I always do. I was there, wholeheartedly. Both feet, jumping wildly into the abyss, never looking back or forward, just jumping blindly into that brick wall. And as I pick myself up again, for what feels like the thousandth time I will resume my place back in the universe where I belong, to serve again when called upon.

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