I fooled myself into thinking that the universe had finally delivered a little bit of itself to me. So of course, it came at a time when my guard was down and I had accepted my place among the stars. I had come to a place that I thought was an acceptance that I was by some grand design, a vessel to simply give to others whatever was required of me. I thought for a moment that that sacrifice, that acceptance had earned me some karmic goodness, delivered to me in the form of an age appropriate, professional soldier (a career that I admire more than any other), funny, charming, witty and beautiful man that i could fall madly, passionately in love with and that would love me to the ends of the earth and even understand my place among the stars. I am by grand design, a hopeless romantic. Albeit a very guarded one. Never the less, I am. Hopeless. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was again a stepping stone, providing a temporary place of security where demons could be exercised, hopes and dreams, fails and disappointments revealed. I did what I always do. I was there, wholeheartedly. Both feet, jumping wildly into the abyss, never looking back or forward, just jumping blindly into that brick wall. And as I pick myself up again, for what feels like the thousandth time I will resume my place back in the universe where I belong, to serve again when called upon.
Published by christiepage "pando pandemonium"
Confessions of a mad mind~ Author of A Practical Guide to Forgiveness from an Impractical Survivor and She was the Stuff of Stars, Christie Page was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts. She lived in the Nobska Point Lighthouse with her mother and father who were stationed there as a result of his service in the Coast Guard. Shortly after the family made their way to West Palm Beach, Florida where she grew up continuing her love affair with the ocean. She has two children Joshua 26 and Laura 24 and currently resides in South Florida. In 2015 Christie left her twenty year medical career to pursue her passion for writing full time and has been featured in the world’s largest mindful living publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, elephant journal, Sivana East, Thirty on Tap and The Urban Howl. She was also a feature columnist for Controlled Chaos magazine. An active yogi, hoop dancing enthusiast and self-proclaimed whiskey chick, she is a third generation breast cancer survivor, recovering anorexic/bulimic and is on life six or seven of her nine lives. She has been homeless and sheltered, rich and poor, loved and hated and believes her experiences have lead her down a path of spiritual exploration and awakenings. Christie wishes to share her journey with others in an attempt to come to peace. She writes to clear space from the rolodex that is her muddled mind. Christie View all posts by christiepage "pando pandemonium"