Tonight my demons will dine on the memories from my mind, they’ve been left there to sift and collect, aging like fine wine.
Tonight I will revisit all the places I have not allowed my thoughts to wander for fear of slipping; and although that rabbit hole makes for good material, even I know there are times when I should not pass the threshold.
But now seems as good a time as any… because now…I am at a crossroad and my mind has made a mess of things again.
I wish I was a simple creature. I have written before about indifference and I am convinced it is an art form that one cultivates. I wish to possess this art. Indifference becomes most attractive when my own heart wants to act alone, independent of careful thought and meticulous planning.
It is the great divide. I used to compartmentalize and this served me well, it allowed me to survive in small pieces. But now I can’t seem to find the strategy I once had. Now I seem to splinter off into fragmented pieces and I wonder how many pieces are actually left.
I am not prepared for the weight of the baggage I carry today. So tonight I will sit down with my demons.
Tonight we dine.
Photo credit : Jason D. Page