ohhh another selfie?

So I have decided to tackle the topic of the dreaded selfie…I don’t think my perspective is unique, I just think I am one of the few that are willing to say it.

I am not speaking for the masses. I am speaking for myself. I grew up in a time when cell phones were just starting to roll out and the only people who could afford them were millionaires and celebrities. Remember car phones? Or is that just me.

Anyway that was back in my early 20’s and at the height of my “look good without trying” phase as most 20 somethings are.

In the morning I didn’t have to wait to find my face or hope my puffiness would go down…I woke up, looked fresh and off I went. If I had had a sophisticated cell phone to document my morning glow, believe me, I would have…just so I could have proof now that I looked the way I thought I did.

I never had to worry about makeup and hair care products. I was a Florida girl and the sun and ocean were my beauty routine.

As I got older and busier with kids, work, school and family life the pictures focused on the children and their development. Rarely was I seen in a photo and if I was it certainly wasn’t posed and pretty. I was usually caught mid-chew or slumped over exhausted in a puddle of drool, definitely not Facebook worthy.

But the kids grew up, cell phones became more sophisticated and mainstream people began documenting their lives. This was the new norm. I took interest. I realized that I would have control for the first time over how the world saw me. That I no longer had to look through old photo albums and dread the inevitable double chin or crazed expression…is that vain? yes.

Is it necessary? no.  But so what? What’s the big deal?

The people who know me and are closest to me know what I look like in EVERY scenario…They’ve seen me overweight, underweight, healthy, covered in dirt, sweating profusely, bending over with rolls for days, pregnant, in pain, recovering from surgery after surgery, smiling, laughing, making faces, puking, rolling on the floor naked, hula hooping naked, swimming naked…let me tell you, there’s NO filter for that. Once you’ve seen it, you can’t un-see it.

So who cares if one day or two days or three days I am FEELING myself. If I have put effort into my hair and makeup or I’m wearing an outfit that I just LOVE? Who cares?

I have spent a lot of time hating my body, hating who I was, hating my scars, hating what cancer left behind. I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia my whole life. To this day I have such an odd relationship with food and deprivation and emotion that it is an admitted ongoing disease. I’ve been carved open to to tune of 20 procedures and counting and have scars from the literal top of my head (face included) to my toes…some are larger than others…

So if I feel good or strong or beautiful and I want to capture that moment in time by snapping a picture of my face, my outfit, my makeup, my hairstyle or anything else on my body who cares?

Do you care about MY selfie?  and if you do ask yourself why you care.

Is it vanity? Is it confidence?

Am I looking for some sort of validation?

It’s actually quite simple…I just feel good. I have reached a level of self acceptance in that moment and I want to share it because I’ve spent too much time in my life hating the way I look. It is a form of self expression, a reflection of my mood, my style or lack thereof.

So get over the selfie people.

Taken 02/04/2016, no filter just a hell of a makeup job today, a good camera and a great attitude!   This is 41 years old…suck on that 🙂

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One thought on “ohhh another selfie?

  1. I love that you are embracing yourself when you once chose not to. I can totally relate! And you deserve to take a billion selfies; you are beautiful!! People just dont like to see others feeling confident because it makes them question their own beauty. So instead of accepting that you may have something they dont have, they would rather tear down what YOU have. Keep doing what makes you happy…even if you have to buy larger SD card lol. Looking back and those pics on your bad days serves as a good reminder as to what you are capable of.

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