I was aware of the healing of my heart last night. I had the help of two amazing people to get me through it, one I have known for years and the other in just recent months. But none the less, it was there. I spilled tears, I choked back sobs, I drank a glass of wine and I allowed myself to acknowledge the pain and fear that was present.
And I was embraced. My thoughts, my somewhat irrational and rational thoughts were explored and accepted. I was accepted. Me. Just me, in all my crazy glory.
It’s hard to come clean when you feel like you are going mad. No one wants to expose the chaos beneath the surface. But I did. And it was okay.
On one hand I had the support of one of my best friends on this earth to gently express that the picture I had in my head of recent events was just that, a picture. That my reality was vastly different from what I envisioned and that an acceptance of the reality was necessary to put things in perspective.
On the other hand I had the grounded reinforcement that I was worth the trouble of understanding. That my fears and thoughts had value. That it was okay to be where ever I was in the process of moving forward and more importantly moving on.
I was offered unconditional APPROVAL of my state of mind and with that, the hole in my heart closed up a little and that is everything.