So who am I?
I would describe myself as a formerly repressed artist.
A woman with a passion for my life, no matter how many dark clouds spill onto my canvas.
I want it messy, a life that shows I have LIVED, not just existed, not just gotten by…but grabbed my life and ALL of it’s experiences and tasted every bottle of wine and danced in every rain storm and learned every song on the guitar and how to speak Italian and how to hoop dance with my feet and how to immerse my mind, body and soul into a moment and be present for EVERY single sunrise and sunset.
I want to be known as the woman who dared to believe she could have it all and do it all.
I want to make love on the ground in a park at night, under the stars and feel connected. I want to feel dirt under my fingers and hands on my flesh and be pressed deeper and deeper into the soil until I feel the earth rotating beneath me.
I want whoever that person I am with to feel utterly consumed and enthralled with my willingness to give everything I have so completely, that sex AFTER me is like eating the same sandwich every single day for the rest of their lives….I want someone to know that with ME it only gets better and MORE intense and builds more intimacy until we don’t need words…only glances and touches to communicate in a room full of people.
I want someone to follow me…run with me…be wild with me….and dare to also have it all.
When I die….I want to have touched people in a way that leaves NO doubt as to how much I love them…all of them…all my family, friends, acquaintances,everyone.
I want to leave bite marks so deep on life that the EARTH remembers that I was here because I was BRAVE enough to expose all the parts of my soul, all the parts of my heart and admit all of my truths…
This vulnerability thing may come off as “crazy” to those who don’t understand it or as “out there”, “desperate”, or any other variation with a negative connotation….
but this bare bones thing is HARD work….it’s easy to wall off, shut down, close doors….that is the easy road, the self preservation mode, the protection mode….
I want no part of that.
I want to burn for everything I have ever loved and die knowing I left embers behind drifting to every where…
I want to touch everything with the energy I leave behind on this planet.
On my tombstone or urn or whatever, I want a single word…
not even my name, because they will know,
and the stars will remember, because we are made the same.