Sweet girl, (open letter to me)

Sweet girl,

Sweet girl, we’ve been down this road. Pick your heart up, dust it off, wring it out and let all the cracks show like a beautiful mosaic stained glass window. Your imperfections, your broken, your pieces are exquisite and although they are not arranged quite the same as when you first started this journey, they are still every bit as valuable.

It’s ok to give yourself away…it’s who you are, it’s what you do. You don’t know any other way to be. Disappointments weigh heavy, but equally so are your triumphs. Better to try and fail than not try at all.

You hand yourself over… body, mind and soul each time with the expectation of a return on your investment to another and that’s okay too. They say we should give without wanting to receive, but who wouldn’t want to receive the kind of love that you are capable of giving?  Because your love truly is limitless and boundless and free of judgment. We would be a fool to say we didn’t want that in return.

There is nothing wrong with who you are…open, wild, filled with the desire to experience anything and everything at your fingertips. It is okay to want it all and to have nothing and to be filled with an endless need to help others fill their voids, because you know what it’s like to sit on the edge of your despair. You know what it is like to dangle your legs over that cliff and wonder what would happen if you shifted your weight just slightly forward and took the plunge…but never do it.

It is okay to recognize the pain in others and want to be a part of helping them pick up their own pieces and give whatever is left of yourself…to always leave a light on, a candle burning. To face your own darkness and be just as comfortable in the hell you create because it is familiar and somehow just as safe as standing on the ledge of an open window.

Sweet girl, your heart’s endless optimism is both your greatest gift and the source of your greatest pain and it is impossible to have one without the other. And whether you know it or not, to remain open is a choice and you make this choice every single day, bravely in the face of your heartaches.

You are forged from those scars that line your heart, the stains that remain on your soul and the memories of your losses. You are battle tested and your life is the proof of your victories. Every day you wake up is another chance, another choice to keep pressing forward…and if all we can do is breathe today, than today is also a good day…and if all we can do is spill tears, than let the tears cleanse our spirit, and if getting out of bed is too difficult, let us rest our bodies so that we can gain strength from every fiber, every cell until the next day, until the next choice.

Sweet girl, we’ve been down this road…you ARE what you seek. YOU are the love, YOU are the compassion, the understanding, the empathy, the forgiveness. Sweet girl, open your eyes today…get up and get on with the business of living…spill your tears, open your heart and breathe.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Sweet girl, (open letter to me)

  1. Wow, I needed to read this. Today. I needed to read this in the exact moment I stumbled upon it. Thank you for sharing your letter with yourself, because I really needed that assurance. ❤

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