If I could be anything, I would choose each time, to be this.
Oh sure, I wear the same hat as many of you, answer to the same titles. Mom, daughter, sister, cousin, co-worker, friend. But you see on any given day I can also float between what’s beneath the skin, the not so traditional, the extraordinary…because that is one thing I am certain of.
In any given moment I am a mermaid, a Viking, a champion, a sparrow, a lion.
Sometimes I am as soft and latent as a snail, other times as vicious and biting as a viper.
I am all things at all times and sometimes I am nothing at all. But I choose this, every time.
My soft is soft, is careful, treads lightly, speaks quietly, listens intensely and chooses wisely.
My edges are rough and unavoidable, harsh and penetrating, lapsing in judgment and reason, quick to react and late to apologize.
But I would choose this. Over and over again.
This….shell, this spirit that resides in this shell is mine, is unique to me, to own, to embrace and to deny.
And while my heart and mind remain in two distinct places, I operate simultaneously in triumph and sorrow, in grief and happiness, in gratefulness and despair.
Each breath a struggle, inhaling and exhaling the names of lovers that went wrong, of relationships tossed around on the raging sea of my veins that deliver blow after blow of what could have been, should have been, never will be again straight into that mother vessel who’s name is HEART.
And where am I going with all of this? The cruelty of it all? Unless those veins empty, that vessel continues to sail and the battles continue to wage and the strength that it takes to keep her in operation ebbs and flows and is as ever changing as the tide and dictated by the moon.
And you are that moon.
I am as much a slave to my love for you as the ocean is to light hanging in the night sky.