Some days, that’s as good as it gets. Yesterday was one of those days where my heart was outpacing my mind and funny that the best piece of advice and encouragement came at the hand of a wonderful surgical tech that I used to work with. One who has literally seen me inside and out. She’s put me back together several times.
Yesterday the words “sometimes the heart succumbs to it’s injuries” came to me because that was how I felt. I felt utterly broken, defeated.
She wrote “Don’t give in, your heart is only there to pump blood…period”
So I let those words wash over me. And then I let them sit on my skin and they began to soak in. And soon I sent those words coursing through my veins straight into my heart and commanded that it do it’s job. And as long as I could break away from that piece of myself and focus on the biologic function, compartmentalize the pain, hone in on that rhythmic beat keeping me upright, I could find my way to pull myself out of my bathtub, to shut down the tears, to get through…
Sometimes that’s all I can do. And although I woke today with the same pain in my heart, I remembered that all my heart has to do is pump blood, that’s it.
The struggle is real. For people who suffer with depression, anxiety, OCD, or any other mental illness the struggle is absolutely real. I used to be embarrassed to admit these things about myself. I used to view it a sign of weakness, but I know what I have endured. I know the resilience of my spirit and although I falter…I am still here, one more day.
Thank you Frannie! ❤ ❤ ❤ your words hit me.