I can't do it anymore. I just can't and this time it isn't you. It really is me. I don't even know when we started this relationship. It goes back as far as I can remember and it has never been good. We've never had good times, certainly none that would justify keeping you around … Continue reading I’m breaking up with you. (an open letter)
Quite frankly not a topic I ever wanted to discuss, which is all the more reason to put it out there and let the chips fall where they may. I was pretty much forced into this conversation by a seemingly well-meaning gentleman, although the aftermath let my insides twisted and feeling like minced meat. He … Continue reading The ugly truth.
Going to try this forum since I get so many emails on various sites. I am going to try to consolidate and answer as many questions as you have (if any). I will try to answer as openly and honestly as possible. Please feel free to submit questions in the comments section and I will … Continue reading Ask me anything…..
I wonder sometimes where my last piece will fall. Surely my essence, my soul, my love, my heart is not contained in a fist-sized little organ beating beneath my chest. If it was, I would already be gone. But I wonder, on drives to work, sitting alone on my couch on Saturday mornings drinking coffee, … Continue reading these pieces….
This is what 40 feels like to me. First I would like to say with 100% honesty I never dreamed I would make it to 40. I figured with all I had been through physically, mentally, emotionally...I just wouldn't be here. Let's face it, there are not a lot of single, childhood abused, teenage, homeless, … Continue reading so….here it is. This is 40.
I KNOW people are a collective pattern of behavior. I KNOW this. I subscribe to it, believe in it whole hearted. This includes myself. I am trying desperately to break patterns. I am trying to rethink my path and make decisions that are healthier, wiser and rational. I failed last night. I fell into my … Continue reading Patterns of behavior and why I am so mad.
You stupid, stupid girl. Why do you allow the words to penetrate your heart? Why do the walls come down? Why are you so quick to believe the lies? You stupid, stupid girl. Fairy tales don't exist. Happy endings are paid for. Why are you so desperate to be loved? Why can't you love yourself … Continue reading Stupid girl…letter to self.
The moment I realized I was pregnant was at the gym with one of my best friend's Courtney. I was running on the treadmill, looked over my shoulder outside into the plaza at the Duffy's and thought to myself "Damn, I really could go for a quesadilla and a beer right now" As soon as … Continue reading The gym, a treadmill, Duffy’s and 2 bottles of wine.
Dive right in. I sit trying to piece together a clever or witty way to describe this time in my life. Dive right in, keeps repeating over and over. There is no "nice" or tidy way to describe it. It was awful. It was 100% me. All my doing. I had settled in for a … Continue reading Black Summer…poker madness.
The club, Club Safari, became MY everything. It was where I would go if I was in a good mood, to celebrate birthdays, New Year's Eve, bachlorette parties, divorce parties. It was where I would go if I was in a shitty mood and wanting to escape into a sea of people and alcohol. It … Continue reading Giovanni…. 🙂